Dreaming with Dave Harm

website power

website power

As my own website grows and begins building a loyal following, its kind of humorous and sad how others try to make me feel “lucky” to be talking with them.

Last month I got an e-mail from a recovering alcoholic who had written a book.  They wanted me to put a good word about them inmy newsletter.  They also gave me their webiste so I could check them out.  The wbesite was just a sale.  The website was five pages and every apge was about how great their book was.  As an alcoholic, I need to “give.”  I spent so much time “taking,” by “giving” I can grow.  This persons website was 100% take.  That’s not recovery and it’s not what I will share with others.

Than today I got an e-mail from a person who has a nice cancer website.  They tell me that they can’t place a link on their site about mine.  Yes, I e-mailed this person about another matter - not a link exchange.  Their e-mail went on to say they couldn’t help “personal” websites - they are strictly professional.  Say what? How did one simple “heads-up” turn into this?

To be honest, in my past I have turned down a link exchange with just one site.  That site already had my banner on their site when they informed me.  I checked out the site and asked them to remove my banner.  Not because I was better then them, but rather because I couldn’t endorse or approve the message they were sending.

It’s taken four years to get to this point and I’m starting to feel the fear of others.  I’m not here to invade and conquer - just share!!!

The Stars are aligned

For the sports fan, 2008 has been the year of the underdog or the Cinderella.  And for the mystic in me, the year continues on with another occurrence.

Think about the events that have taken place this year, starting with the Super Bowl.  The New York Giants beat up on undefeated powerhouse New England.

Basketball? No major surprise with the Celtics winning, but it wasn’t without some scary moments, including barely getting past Atlanta in the opening round of the playoffs.

The next “biggie” was the Fresno St. Bulldogs winning the College World Series. Now what?  It’s been a 100 years for the Cubs! Now that would prove the stars, planets, and the universe are perfect in alignment for miracles.

But I’m thinking of something else.  Yup, college football starts in less then two months.  Is this the year for Iowa State.  Nicknamed the Cyclones, this year has been the year of violent weather across the Midwest.

In fact, every state that belongs in the Big 12 has had an unusually active year weather wise.  But the power of the tornado was never so prevalent when the Iowa State Cyclones made their first ever tailgate tour into Nebraska.

That night they were to visit Omaha, but the Cyclone gods delivered a stronger message.  Across Nebraska that day and night 17 tornadoes touched down across the state.

For the Cyclones it’s a new start! A new year! A favorable schedule… and… and… another miracle? A few years ago Wake Forest rose from the ashes, and then it was time for Rutgers to shine, now it’s time for the Cyclones! GO STATE!!!

One other possibility? The nation could have its first African-American President, so why not have the first champion whose stadium is named (the only one in FBS) for an African-American – Jack Trice.

Goooooooooooo Bulldogs! (Fresno St not Georgia)

Spirituality

It’s easy to find that “great” feeling of a Presence in our life at church services or a 12 step meeting.  There’s a feeling of being one, wanting the same result.  But today, I found that “uneasy” spirituality which is just as strong as the “great.”  Early afternoon at work, the skies turned black and a storm was rolling in.  To the south, I could see a couple of small funnel clouds dropping down a bit and than quickly returning to their home in the clouds.  I went back to the production area and asked the Superintendent if there were any warnings out and what I just saw.  Just the two of us knew what I saw, but within five minutes you could sense the uncertainty of every employee.  The power we have in good times and bad can’t be under estimated.  Think about how we act and react and you’ll understand how people act around you.

Cinderella

Have you been following the college world series? Six of the eight teams were national seeds.  The experts quickly labeled the two non-seeds as being the first two teams to be eliminated.  After one week, those two teams - Stanford and Fresno St - are still in the tournament.  In fact, Fresno State is still undefeated.

They have become my team.  They barely made the original field of 64.  In the regionals, they beat Long Beach St.  Than in the super regionals they beat #3 seed Arizona St on their home field.

Their first World Series game they beat regular World Series participant #6 seed Rice.  The next game #2 seed North Carolina bit the dust.  They’re just one win away from the final series, which is a best of three.

Every March, we look for a Cinderella in the NCAA’s basketball tournament.  This year Cinderella appeared in the summer with the boys from Fresno St.

More College Thoughts

OK, we’re within 70 days till the start of college football.  Even though this year has been extremely long with violent weather - I’ll still be cheering for the Cyclones!

Another long night

After work, I wrote a “fun” blog - now I’m just mentally drained.  Just got done with a tornado warning.  Its looking like within the next hour we’ll be in another one.  The last one went “through” our town.  What I mean by that is that all news casts said it was moving from our town.  Sirens blowing.  For the last four hours numerous tornadoes have touched down within a five county radius of us.  And reaching into Iowa.  Below is a link to a sports site about the deaths tonight in Iowa at a boy scout camp…. I’m just mentally drained.

LINK

I’m rich and thoughts about pro sports

Soooooooooooo dang busy

I don’t know if I’m getting to many pots on the fire or if age is just catching up with me. I just don’t have the energy or the stamina I used to have. Working 9-10 hours a day probably doesn’t help any either. Than I come home work on my website or my newspaper column and nothing else seems to get accomplished. But relief is on the way!!!

I’m a millionaire!!!!

I used to spend a couple of bucks a week on Powerball. Not religiously, sometimes I won’t get a ticket for months at a time. It’s just if I think about it when I’m in a store that sells them. Anyway, I don’t need to do that anymore! You see I’m an official millionaire! Within the last month, five people I’ve never met, from South Africa, France, Nigeria, South America and Russia have passed away. But they heard about my excellent charitable work and left me over $2.5 million each in their wills. It’s kind of sad that someone had to pass away for me to get this money but heck I’ll take it!

Note – SARCASM – Are there still people who fall for these e-mails?

NBA Finals

A story came out today that the refs are told in advance who should win a game and how to call fouls on the team that should lose. I think 90% of America believes this. It’s about the money and TV ratings. Do I believe this? Yes I do. Pro basketball is extremely boring and somewhat predictable. How can a team be up by 20+ points and than barely hang on to win? This isn’t a once in a lifetime event but nightly during the season. Kind of like rollerball was when I was a kid. One team would get so far ahead and than the underdog would come back and eventually lose – always by 1 point. That’s why I like college sports.

College World Series

Speaking of college sports. The best 8 teams in baseball are in Omaha this week for the college world series. Now this is pure entertainment. Last week I watched the last super regional game between Fresno St. and Arizona St. Fresno St. was a heavy underdog but went into the 9^th inning leading 12-5. The first batter struck out. Two more outs and Omaha would have a Cinderella! But Arizona St. had other ideas. They began spraying little hits all over the field. By the time Fresno St. recorded the second out, the score was 12-9 and the bases were loaded. The winning run was at the plate. The batter had already hit two homeruns. It was great! I started the game rooting for Fresno but by the time that batter stepped into the box I was rooting for Arizona St. He ended up flying out to left field and Fresno was on their way to Omaha. No pro game could have compared to that thriller! As far as the series? I’m going for Florida St.

A recurring theme with Pet Peeves

Awhile back I wrote about some of my pet peeves.  I can get over most of these nuisances, but one continues to bother me.  And no matter what I have learned in life or through AA seems to help me.  It is people who are insecure.  These people can be managers, in charge of 20 people keeping everyone busy, but be one of the most insecure people you’ll ever meet.  They give the air of confidence but in their busy minds they’re constantly wondering if you’re undermining their authority.

Or the person who has been a major part of a company for many years.  This person knows the ins and outs of every position in the company.  He believes he is the ultimate authority at his place of employment.  With every new CEO he believes it is his duty to share his knowledge with this person.  Whether it is asked for or not.  Than becomes angry when his wise words aren’t met with open arms.

As these insecure people continue to feed each other in their own “pity-pot” martyrdom.  And while they believe they are the link that binds everything together.  While in fact, their insecurity is a virus that affects everyone.

While they may believe they are overworked and underpaid - they never leave work.  They complain about the lack of employees to get the job done, but when new employees come they still got to do it all.

They are the ultimate workaholics, always complaining about how no one can get the job done right, yet they never have the time or patience to train anyone.

If only they’d share some of their knowledge.  They’d see a respect they often demand but seldom get.

Yeah, insecure people are my number one pet peeve.

Our 24 hour gift

Through my days in the AA program, I’ve always counted my 24 hour periods.  Yes, the years mean something to me, but it isn’t possible to have one year of sobriety without having 365 - 24 hour sober periods.

Last week I had the honor of giving a 17 year old their one year chip.  This person means a lot to me and our group as a whole.  It was a very emotional night.  In my little speech, I told everyone that one of the simple spiritual joys of AA is watching someone walk through the doors for that very first time.

We wonder will they come back for a second meeting or a third.  Than we begin wondering when will they speak?  We know it will come and we won’t rush the person, but like little children, we’re anxious to hear the words they have to say.

This person took awhile to speak, but they let us into their world and when that happened we were amazed at their strength and courage to battle the pressures of being a teen-ager in recovery.

I gave this person a hug and gave them their chip.  Than before I was done, I gave them a second chip.  I told everyone that without this chip, one week of sobriety isn’t possible.  Nor one month or a year.  And most certainly one year and one day isn’t possible without this chip.  I gave them a 24 hour chip.

I than said to always be grateful for your 24 hours.  It’s a very special gift we have and always give thanks to your Higher Power for that 24.  And whenever the urge to drink hits you, look at that chip and remember how you got here and whatever problem you may have you can “survive” another 24.  Got another hug and this time some tears.  It was a very emotional moment.

Out of all the chips I have, I always carry my 24 hour close to me.  In fact, I recently acquired a new one.  After 13 plus years, my original was pretty worn out.  The writing of the Serenity Prayer was all but gone.  It served its purpose well.

I put a lot of power in my 24 hour chip.  And tonight at midnight, I’ll be celebrating 5,000 – 24 hour sober periods.  And for the 5,000 time, I’ll lay my head down and say my prayers and thank my Higher Power for another day of sobriety.

Second Chances

When do we cut our loses, when other people are involved? An alcoholic struggles to obtain sobriety, maybe he stays dry for a month or two and than goes back to his drinking ways.  He stays drunk for a couple of months or longer than tries sobriety once again.  This vicious cycle continues for what seems like an eternity.

Sooner or later this person’s family gives up.  The alcoholic’s word falls on death ears.  Is he lying or just scared of what lies ahead being sober? I’m a firm believer in second chances. My life would be pretty lonely if friends and family didn’t give me a second chance.  Everyone deserves a second chance - but how many chances should we continue to believe we are entitled too?

A burglar spends two years in jail for his crimes, gets released, and within a year is back in prison.  Does he deserve another chance? Yes, he does.  But every time he gets released he once again gets in trouble and ends up back in jail

Why is it that some people can only find comfort in their insanity? And as loved ones watch and continually get their hearts torn out, how many times does it take before we cut our ties and say no more?

The Bible says we should have the ability to forgive - forever.  But we’re human beings.  When we forgive, like it or not, we expect some changes.  When those expectations aren’t met we become filled with resentments.

We owe it to ourselves to base our forgiveness on expectations.  But we shouldn’t forgive blindly.  When someone wants our forgiveness it gives us a power.  Not a power to control or to become a god, but rather it gives us the power to protect ourselves.

Forgiveness will still come, but after the third or fourth chance, we know some basic rules need to be in place just to protect ourselves.

Protecting your home turf

Lately, I’ve been on a “mission” to let some people (or businesses) realize that the best way to find success is to take care of their home turf.  What I mean is that if you want to be a worldwide success in your career, you must first be a success at home!!!

As a writer and a poet, I can’t expect to be Oprah’s choice for “book of the month,” unless I first sell books in my own backyard.  How do I go about that? For me, that means write a weekly newspaper column on poetry and at the end of every column I invite people to visit my website.

Than you take the next step.  For me, that’s doing poetry readings at different functions.  Reading cancer poems at a survivor social about 40 miles from our home.  Or reading poems and short stories at a nursing home, roughly 20 miles from our home, to help celebrate National Nursing Home Week.

And of course reading the opening poem at local Relay events.  Up until this year, that meant one event, this year, it could be as high as five events.

Yes, it has helped.  I write a check at a store and the teller will say, “Your the poet!” Or someone will recognize me from my picture in the newspaper.

Has it made a difference? Within the last year and a half my website daily hits, is higher than my total hits for the first six months I had a website.  Within the last six months my total hits have surpassed the total I had for the first two years on the web.  Yes, my exposure has increased tenfold.

My book sales are still slow, but they are steady.  And my poetry is being used coast to coast at different events.  Right now, building my foundation at home has not translated into a financial windfall, but it will come, if I continue to stay on the attack.  As my website hits continue to expand, my name and site goes higher and higher on search engines while more and more people visit my pages.

The same is true with big corporations.  If you’re an outdoorsman, you know about Cabela’s.  And you probably know that their home is in Nebraska.  If you didn’t ask any Nebraskan and they’ll tell you with pride about “owning” Cabela’s.

Another example is Wal-Mart.  I had the privilege of spending a day in Wal-Mart’s home on a business trip.  It is in Bentonville, Arkansas.  If you didn’t know that (which I didn’t) just ride through that town.  Wal-Mart is everywhere.  Their super-stores, small grocery stores, and gas stations, seem to be on every corner.  And while some would say it is an over abundance of their power, others would say it provides many jobs to many people.

Now look at it another way.  You are a president at a small company that is feeling some growing pains.  Instead of building your home turf, you try and hit a home run on the first pitch.  Everything you do is based on making a million over night.  So you have your marketing campaign geared towards the stars.  You spend a small fortune on hiring professional photographer’s, thousands of miles from your home, instead of hiring someone from your home - someone who knows your home.

You place ads in the Wall Street Journal, not realizing that people who see it will just say “Who?”, instead of placing your ad in a local newspaper.  A newspaper who knows you and knows your employees.

No matter how small or irrelevant your home turf seems, nothing can happen, without having success in your home town.  For today, forget the world, support your home town and they’ll support you and your employees.  Whether it’s a small adventure (like mine) or a big corporation, success can’t happen without the support, love, and pride of your home town.  Whether that’s a town of 1,000 people or a state of 1,000,000.  Build your home.

A new kind of kinky porn

No this blog isn’t changing.  Than why that title? It’s an experiment.  Last year I read a blog that if you have a title with some kind of perversion in it, your site hits will increase dramatically.  We’ll see if this is true or not.  I’ll let you know at my next update.

Can someone explain this?

Why is it that people who seem to “have it all together”, at times, are the most insecure people you’ll ever meet? I mean you meet a lady who is beautiful, intelligent, and walks with a certain confidence, yet worries about the simplest things.  She worries about her position in life, yet in the next breath, slaps someone in the face with the same attitudes that she hates.  To put it simply, she demands respect, yet doesn’t give it to others.  And by not giving to others what she wants, she is insecure.

Or the guy who someday “will make a great grandma.”  He knows everything and is confident in his ability to make things work, yet he needs to know everything about everybody.  Even if it isn’t any of business, he needs to know.  And if he can’t find out - than he becomes bitter and angry.  A total control freak, for absolutely no reason.

My point with this little babbling session is that if we live life “within” then the forces “outside” can not control our lives.  It goes back to being spiritually center and being at peace with who we are.

Spring ball is over

College spring football is now over.  I’m ready for the late summer and football comes back.  There is something special about college football.  Players with dreams, some hoping to take that next step.  Others know this is the end of the line, yet they play for the team.  I know college football has become big business, but it’s still played by teenagers, who seem to enjoy the thrill of competition.  For my Iowa State Cyclones, there seem to be new questions that last year I thought were answered.  With Gene Chizik, their defensive minded guru head coach, I do think their defense will continue to improve and eventually be feared.  But the questions arise on offense.

So many different addictions

Mine was easy to see - alcohol.  But others, while I understand, still bother me.  The depressed heavy set person, who knows they’re overweight, yet they continue to eat.  Or the person who is financially strapped yet every time they get a dime in their pocket - they need to spend it.  For me it’s frustrating because I have no room to talk.  I know, with alcohol, I was looking to fill a “hole” in me with something on the outside.  As with every addiction, there is a sense of spiritual bankruptcy.  Always looking out to find happiness, instead of looking within.