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Last Updated 30 June 2018

I tried a couple of times to chat with this person, in what I thought, was a diplomatic way. But how does that old saying go? You can't
win a pissing contest with a skunk. I finally gave up and started praying for him. That isn't meant to sound self-righteous, but rather
an act of survival. You see over our short time of dialogue, this person became my Higher Power. And the only way for me to
become spiritually centered once again was by praying for that person. The more I prayed for him, the more my Higher Power came
back into my life.

It was through these conversations that I began to go back in time to my early recovery and my search for a Higher Power. I knew
everything I needed to know about the religious God. And quite honestly I wanted nothing to do with a God of the church.

I grew up in a Catholic home and went to a parochial school. The god I grew up with was one to be feared. A god you never
questioned. One in which you should feel "blessed" even in the face of unjust punishment.

That was the god I grew up with and it was a god I didn't want in my life of sobriety. So I searched. I studied the ancient mythologies,
eastern philosophies, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, as well as Native American beliefs.

What I believe today isn't as important as the journey I took to get to where I am at right now. It was a rewarding experience, one
which I honestly believe my Higher Power encouraged.

It was because of this journey that my belief in the 12 Steps got stronger and I began to compare the 12 Steps to other thoughts.
The most logical was the 10 Commandments.

The picture above, I created about two months into my sobriety. Just recently I took that original drawing and created my first
computer graphic of it.

The 10 Commandments are broken down into two tablets. The first one has three commandments dealing with our relationship with
God. The second tablet has the other seven commandments dealing with our relationships with our fellow man.

I took that thought and created one for the 12 Steps. The first tablet has steps one through three and deals with our journey of
finding our Higher Power. The second has steps four through nine and deals with the actions necessary to correct our past. And
the final tablet has steps ten through twelve and shows what we need to do to continue a life of sobriety.
14 Years
My search for a Higher Power, early in my recovery, helps
me function better today.

Through my time on the web, I have met some very
interesting people. Some of these folks have become dear
friends. I share a lot with you - my audience. But these
people have seen a more personal side of me.

I share this little bit about this side of me and this site
because for every one of these find folks, I also receive
more than my share of notes that are full of anger, disgust,
and some just plain fanatics.

One of the most vicious of these people talks about the 12
Steps being "devil worship." While praising God, he runs Bill
Wilson into the lowest depths of hell. While praising the
Lord in one breath, his next is filled with wishing death to
every member of AA.