| Information A 33 year timeline AA chip timeline Editors Choice Award Recovery Hero Award USA Poetry Ambassador Award Upcoming Events Website Awards A Cherokee Named Messenger |
| Creating Dreams, by being grateful and humble |
| dysfunctional poetry |
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I've been doing some reflections on my past and it just amazes me how much fun I thought I was having. It was carefree
and at times pretty harmless... but everyday I played these harmless games a little bit more of me was swallowed alive.
The path of recovery is littered with folks that lost their battles to alcoholism and addiction. From high school car crashes
to overdosing rock and roll stars... we all know someone who lost the battle.
Which makes me grateful for a second chance... as well as humbled wondering why I'm not in the ground
and at times pretty harmless... but everyday I played these harmless games a little bit more of me was swallowed alive.
The path of recovery is littered with folks that lost their battles to alcoholism and addiction. From high school car crashes
to overdosing rock and roll stars... we all know someone who lost the battle.
Which makes me grateful for a second chance... as well as humbled wondering why I'm not in the ground
| Obsession followed blindly never questioning the reason for what others believed slowly dying in a world that wasn't mine ashamed of the quiet that surrounded me while bombs exploded both around... and inside me no idea of any truth eyes saw the destruction but no one understood why the soul died and sadly... no one cared when I jumped off that cliff an illusion into a world where God had no place anger and rage was the power that supplied the strength to play the games... lies and manipulation alcohol and drugs just part of the formula control of others brought self-worth an accomplishment of conquest but along the way needed more booze... more control... it was the end of sanity no longer controlling just... being controlled |
| He Smiled he smiled... an awkward smile but it was still pretty to see it had been so long since it was allowed the fear left then he realized it was OK... to feel good without guilt it didn't deal with the shame that would take time but right now he smiled... ear to ear there was hope for a brighter tomorrow and he allowed it to happen thank God... he smiled |
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| Swallowed Alive I was helpless... I was powerless I was sad... I was alone I was out on my own Alcohol and drugs relieved the pain thought I was at peace really quite insane Homeless... sleeping under bridges eating from dumpsters... stealing to stay alive sometimes wondered if it'd be easier just to die a line of coke and a can of beer for awhile it made the pain disappear No will to fight... no end in sight might as well held a gun to my head this ain't life... better off dead Everyday... the same story replayed but the finale always stayed story lines and people may have changed drunk every night... with suicidal thoughts an end to the nightmare is all I sought That was the past the memories though... I hope last that's right... I don't want to forget stay in my mind... firmly set no way I want history to repeat can't feel comfortable relaxing in a seat |
